The Peculiar Order of the Black Squirrel

The Shortgrass Rangers, following in the tradition of the "White Squirrel" for a clean match, have instituted the "Black Squirrel" award for the ugliest of train wrecks - voted by fellow shooters. It may be interesting, but is it really an award?

• Squirrel #1 - Awarded to Goose Terwilligher for managing to shoot his own hat in a shotgun double tap. He was clean, his hat was not.

• Squirrel #2 - Awarded to Dorado for 2 straight matches losing the White Squirrel on the last stage, last gun.

• Squirrel #3 - Awarded to Shameless Womanizer for a magnificent black powder double that bucked enough enough to cause an impressive laceration. Big Paul was rocked!

• Squirrel #4 - Awarded to dapper Cabrito Joe for a trainwreck so ugly, it can't be described here. Apparently classy clothes do not always make the shooter.

• Squirrel #5 - Awarded to Capt Allyn Capron for an unbelievable, on the clock, disassembly and reassembly of his rifle to avoid a miss at Land Run. Wow!

• Squirrel #6 - Awarded to Redleg Reilly for an amazing display of cylinder spinning, thumbilitis, and a stubborn failure to recognize a bad primer.

• Squirrel #7 - Awarded to Texita Draw for a New Years' self destruction that was legendary. Will he ever be the same?

• Squirrel #8 - Awarded to HeBe Missing for a Grand Slam Disaster: 6 misses, a procedural, and a minor safety. Wow!

• Squirrel #9 - Awarded to 3 Fingers Mike for a stage DQ and something to do with trying to load empty shotgun shells into his shotgun on the clock.

• Squirrel #10 - Awarded to Razorback for an amazing inadvertent pistol twirling exhibition that ended his day.

• Squirrel #11 - Awarded to Goose for unbelievable inconsistency and just plain awful shooting

• Squirrel #12 - Awarded to Kiamichi Queen for the unrequited loss of a White Squirrel on the last stage

• Squirrel #13 - Awarded to Scrubbrush for an unmatched discombobulation involving 4 misses, a procedural and a loss of 4 bonus points in less than 30 seconds. It was sad.

• Squirrel #14 - Awarded to Trainwreck for an unmatched combination of misses and equipment malfunctions.

• Squirrel #15 - Awarded to HeBe Missing for an impressive presentation of an empty revolver with the ammo hanging from a pouch dangling from the barrel.

• Squirrel #16 - Awarded to Red River Regulator for multiple calamities that could only describe a bad day shooting.

• Squirrel #17 - Awarded to Riverside Burns for a series of clamatous events taken with his characteristic good humor.

• Squirrel #18 - Awarded to Redleg Reilly for an easy day to forget with a broken firing pin, thumbilitis, and brain fade.

• Squirrel #19 - Awarded to Red River Regulator for an impressive 2 procedurals in 6 stages.

• Squirrel #20 - Awarded to Bodacious Bob for losing his rifle on the first stage and taking 10 misses on every stage. His sound effects were great!

• Squirrel #21 - Awarded to Riccochette Jose for a series of shooting errors much too long to detail here.

• Squirrel #22 - Awarded to Ima QuikShot for one of those HeBe moments of click, click, click and no bang.

• Squirrel #23 - Awarded to Capt Allyn Capron for forgetting to end a stage with his shotgun. A senior moment!

• Squirrel #24 - Awarded to Ima QuikShot for forgetting her shotgun shells.

• Squirrel #25 - Awarded to Sanford for forgetting his shotgun shells on 2 stages in a row and causing a ripple of forgotten shotgun shells across the posse!

• Squirrel #26 - Awarded to Gus for a broken rifle and multiple squibs - including one he could not drive out. Just not a good shooting day.

• Squirrel #27 - Awarded to Tex-Anna for deciding not to use her guns for the match, throwing one down instead of shooting.

• Squirrel #28 - Awarded to Capt Allyn Capron for his inability to bring the appropriate weapons and ammo to shoot the match.

• Squirrel #29 - Awarded to Dorado for an all-around terrible ammunition day, filled with squibs, misfires, low loads and anything else you can imagine.

• Squirrel #30 - Awarded to Tex-Anna for a long list of misdeeds. Forgot to bring ammo, lost parts off her revolver, light strikes on the rifle, etc.......

• Squirrel #31 - Awarded to Rock Springs Renegade for a rash of problems on a stage. Had a squib so was given a reshoot - but failed to reload the revolver. Lots of "click, click, click" and no bang. He'll always remember "are you loaded?"

• Squirrel #32 - Awarded to Jax T during Hell on the Prairie. He had the audacity to break one of the targets while shooting a stage. He was graciously allowed a reshoot, and taking the bull by the horns, shot a worse time for the stage.

• Squirrel #33 - awarded to Medicine Creek Kid for not being able to control his rifle. Jack out a round, had trouble with reloads, then put one over the berm. Not bad for a police firearms instructor..

• Squirrel #34 - Awarded to Jerome Watts mainly for the sake of it. Too much talking about a white squirrel (and sadly coming up short) and the inability to aim a shotgun.

• Squirrel #35 - Awarded to Wynonna Earp for masterful displays of rapid shooting and equally rapid missing. Followed by another display of the inability to shoot her shotgun.

• Squirrel #36 - Awarded to Dorado for the first exploded gun in club history. Thankfully no injuries, except for a 1858 Remington that in now toast.

• Squirrel #37 - Awarded to Dead Last for being thrown from his electric horse at Land Run. Now that is something you don't see every day. Maybe a good reason for the alias change.

• Squirrel #38 - Awarded to Texita Draw for skedaddling when he should have scurried - thus resulting in a dropped load firearm - on the last stage of a clean match. Mercy!

• Squirrel #39 - Awarded to Corporal Agarn Pain. Showed up for Hell on the Prairie with no boots or hat and insisted on shooting a stage with only 4 rounds in the revolver.

• Squirrel #40 - Awarded to Lucky de Meers for the trifecta - miss, procedural and a minor safety, all on one stage.

• Squirrel #41 - Awarded to Load Ranger for a truly terrible day of shooting. Multiple "P's", misses, and brain fades. Oh, and what shotgun shells? Tough to watch. Only hope he can recover. Mercy!